It’s My Wedding - Shut Up Mother!!
What is it with Mothers when it comes to your wedding, why does an otherwise ‘normal’ Mum suddenly turn into a complete nightmare the moment you announce that you are getting married?
If you are a Mother, and one of your offspring is getting married, remember that your role is to be the SAS.
SAS you are asking, what does that mean? Well, I will start with a few things it doesn’t mean.
- We don’t mean that you have to parachute into the dress shop via the plate glass window before ripping to shreds your Daughters chosen dress with you teeth before proudly announcing that you have saved the day and found her the perfect dress from another shop.
- We also don’t mean that you have to use a time-delay explosive to blow up the Rolls Royce chosen to deliver the bride to the church before once again saving the day with Uncle Toms Volvo Estate which, you proclaim, looks lovely with a wash and a red ribbon tied to the aerial.
- Nor should you phone tap your daughters phone to save her the time of explaining the plans so far when you go round for Sunday lunch.
- Obtaining the guest list by hacking your daughters PC then systematically sending anonymous threats informing all the friends and family from the ‘other side’ to make an excuse for not attending so that you can invite Aunty Dot (and her bingo friends), who last saw your daughter when she was 3 months old, in their place, is also a big no-no.
SAS simply means a) Smile, b) Advise (when asked), c) Support
If you do that your daughter is much more likely to be open with her plans and get you involved - this way you will both enjoy the experience.
Employ any of the tactics above, or generally interfere and try to impose your will and the end result will be your daughter shutting you out bit by bit - you will end up less involved and at logger heads - your relationship may never fully recover.
For the record, my Mum was great and nothing like the above (just in case you are reading Mum…)
Répondez s’il vous plaît!
Is it really too much trouble for guests to respond to a wedding invitation? It seems that many guests find it such a huge chore that they either don’t bother or go for the lazy option of replying with an e-mail or text message.
If you have been invited to a wedding and you have a nice little RSVP card with the invitation, I have an idea : FILL IN THE RSVP AND SEND IT BACK ON TIME!
Sounds simple doesn’t it? Often it’s just a case of crossing out either ‘yes’ or ‘no’, sealing the envelope and putting into the post box.
Maybe your delicate nature is offended because the future Mr & Mrs didn’t put a stamp on the envelope, after all, why should you have to pay for the stamp? I will tell you why - YOU COULD BUY 200 STAMPS FOR THE PRICE OF THE DINNER YOU ARE GETTING FOR FREE!
Perhaps you think it is being ultra-modern to reply via e-mail or sms text, or perhaps replying via their ‘wedding website’ makes you feel all hip and trendy, maybe you think that a phone call is more personal. Just for a moment, think about it, if the future Mr & Mrs had wanted you to confirm your attendance in that way they WOULD NOT HAVE ASKED YOU TO RETURN THE RSVP!
Oh, I get it - you are going to be on holiday, or maybe with only 18 months notice you don’t have enough time to organise a dog/cat/baby/hamster sitter so you won’t be able to attend, and of course if you are not going to be at the wedding you don’t need to tell them, right? WRONG! WHAT ARE THEY, MIND READERS?
What did I just hear you mumble under your breath? You don’t need to reply because you are their brother, sister, cousin, best friend, close friend, work colleague and the soon to be Mr & Mrs will of course know that you are attending without the need to reply? I thought we had already made the point that THEY ARE NOT MIND READERS? Perhaps you expect them to pay £50 per head ‘just in case’ you turn up?
We hope that this post will offer some guidance for the next time you get invited to a wedding and are a little uncertain of what you should do with the RSVP.